How often in your career as an HR executive have you worked with your “dream CEO?” My guess is that the answer for many might be infrequently or rare. CEOs nowadays are moving a mile a minute and have a lot of conflicting demands. Many are still stuck in the “command and control” mindset of the 20th century. Regardless of who your CEO is right now, as a Human Resources Executive, you have to understand the nature of your unique partnership dance with your CEO. And if you want to have impact and do so in a context of meaningful relationships and purposeful living , your best strategy may well be “choosing to make your own weather” by intentionally shaping and building the powerful role you want to play . This takes courage, speaking your peace, time and commitment to build the relationship and executive presence. Are you up to the task? In looking back at my own experience in working for half a dozen or so CEOs, there are some experiences I remember fondly. The CEO that mentored me early on in my career and who in spite of my youth implicitly trusted I would make the right decisions-a huge boost to my self-confidence which helped me later on. Then there is the one that totally stayed out of my hair and treated me with the utmost respect in front of my much older cigar chomping peers, behaviors which spread both horizontally and cascaded down in the organization. And, the CEO that supported me when I needed it, and actively sought my counsel on complex business and human issues and developed an environment of trust where we could disagree and I felt free to hold up the mirror and give difficult, direct feedback. And the executive team and CEO I still meet with twice a year after having lived through the “merger from hell” together many years ago. We often joke that we will still be getting together and asking ourselves “powerful questions’ many years down the pike when we all are in our rocking chairs.

The relationships we build with our CEOs and peers can be authentic, powerful and last a lifetime. And, they can be toxic, dysfunctional and never forgotten. I have worked with many CEOs in my career. Some good some bad. The latter were often leaders that micro-managed, leaders with huge egos, leaders that “had to be right” at all cost, leaders that did not value any styles except their own and critically under-estimated the importance of human capital for the success of the business.

In listening to a group of senior HR executives engage with a CEO we had invited to meet with us recently to our HR Executive Forum, there was agreement that while we may be lucky or perhaps through sheer determination and by being selective in our career moves, end up in a great relationship with a CEO, most of the time the relationship and credibility of HR has to be built over time while facing significant hurdles. And it is when you step into your courage and stand up for what you believe in that you stand to gain the most-it is often in the moments of conflict and tension that relationships grow the most. And, as the discussion revealed, there are also situations when your wisest option is to ship out. And in making that decision, you may have to explore where you get your own inspiration. Do you find your challenge in seeing how far you can move the needle? Is a culture that is deeply rooted in blame and shame something you really want to take on? Perhaps that ignites your spirit? Or, is your ideal environment one in which you can build and move forward in an organization and CEO where there is a lot of functionality to begin with. For myself, I typically have been brought into organizations as a change agent to “move the needle dramatically” –sometimes successfully at other times less so. And sometimes the biggest hurdle has been the relationship –or lack thereof- with the CEO. It turns out I was by no means the only one at the table that had found myself in that circumstance. Some were able to build and shape a healthy CEO/HR Executive relationship with a gentle confrontation behind closed door, always making sure that the CEO was allowed to save face, role modeling authenticity and genuine caring, and by coming from a helping perspective: “Is there anything I can do to help you…..”

In the course of our discussion, some of the criteria that emerged for successful HR Executives included:

• Be the anointed muscle builder. Figure out how to get or build talent! Know who the coming stars are. Be the conscience. Be careful with how you flex that muscle.
• Be at the table. Get yourself invited. Speak out with a louder voice, be brave and voice your opinions. Pound the table. Take risk. Passionate discussions are OK!
• HR is the only corporate function focused on behavior and how we do things –connect the dots!
• Be focused on helping your peers succeed. Be ahead of the game. Don’t wait for direction. Provide down-to-earth business savvy!
• Be the counsel/coach for the CEO. This is a unique role that others may not enjoy. Be the bridge across the organization, observe behaviors, hold up the mirror. Observe and share what they key people issues are.
• Engage in conversation with others continuously and keep the antenna up. Have a strong presence with your peers. Be the “go-to” person.
• Understand the business model. Be involved in discussions of new markets, acquisitions , and shareholder value. Be accountable for other executives not meeting goals.
• Have metrics tied to business strategies and results.
• Dare move on! Focus on where you can have impact.

Last but not least, take a helicopter view and focus on what is most important. As our invited CEO guest said. “Be proactive and make your own weather. Don’t wait to be told! Be an observationist of behaviors, be the bridge and connect the dots for others.” Always think in terms of supporting, integrating with and providing value to business strategies, identifying, getting or building talent and looking at the larger human capital context and changing environment, internally and externally