This session with my group of HR executives generated discussion and sharing in response to many of the questions we co-created prior to meeting. My sense is that we had most energy around presenting issues in executive coaching, positioning of coaching initiatives and assignments, and the emergence of more group coaching. There was also excitement around some of the technology that can be leveraged to make coaching more effective.

In terms of presenting issues of executives, a couple of themes seemed particularly intriguing to participants. One revolved around risk-taking and difficulty in relinquishing control. Many of the executives in our organizations still fall into the “directive quartile” of our leadership style profiles which we tended to hire for so heavily in the 70s and 80s. Many of these executives view their own style as somehow being “better.” In my coaching practice a significant amount of time is spent with individual executives in the area of not only understanding their own style and how it impacts others, but actually also being able to “value” what other styles bring to the table and subsequently the development of adaptive skills. The HR executives around the table agreed that many of our organizations have super smart executives, AND they frequently lack in interpersonal skills (emotional intelligence), often having a tough time taking personal risk and making themselves vulnerable and authentic. While we agreed we do not want to over-generalize, there was a sense that male clients have more self-talk around strong leaders having to “be right” and “having all the answers’ than their female counterparts. In my own coaching practice, I often see male and female clients experience a huge sense of relief as we peel the onion together and they realize that “being wrong and not having all the answers” can actually make them stronger and more genuine as leaders. I have literally seen shoulders drop as if a huge burden has been removed at the moment of AHAA!

As a group we agreed that more women than men seem to grope with an “ impostor syndrome,” more self-doubt, less willingness to take risk. It seems we still have trouble promoting ourselves and many of us still live by the motto that success comes when we “work hard and do what’s right?” Are women leaders still having a difficult time finding models that work? If we want to make more progress in getting the corner office, do we need to do a better job of sticking our head out there and shift our motto more to: “If you want it grab it.” In Lean In Cheryl Sandberg maintains that we still are trying to please too much? What are your reactions and experiences of women leadership issues today in the corporate world? Is this where a lot of coaching for women indeed is focused?

In terms of positioning of coaching initiatives and assignments, there was agreement that coaching of high potentials – not remedial coaching – is emerging more strongly as the favored initiative amongst organizations. My own niche has been “high potentials” from the very beginning and unless I get a clear message from the sponsor upfront that the individual that is being offered coaching is willing and eager and unless it is someone that is viewed as valuable to the organization, it is a poor fit for me. When I work with organizations on positioning I encourage leaders/HR to present coaching initiatives or individual assignments as an “investment” and honor bestowed on the potential client – as something special they have been nominated for. Several organizations present indeed have employees apply for coaching. I also advocate transparency during the process. The more open clients can be about the coaching process they are in , the more they can engage learning partners and feedback partners, the better the chances are that learning will stick. There is nothing like publicly declaring what we are committed to working on. PLUS, it is great role modeling and allows my executive clients to start cascade the new coaching skills they acquire down, up and across their organizations.

Some of the other areas of coaching that generated lively sharing included team and group coaching. It was clear that these are huge growth and opportunity areas. There was also discussion around the differences between coaching, consulting, counseling and mentoring? We explored the importance of developing better coaching capabilities amongst HR executives – in fact quite a few of the executives around the table are already certified coaches. One of the dilemmas these HR executives face is that many of their peers and CEOs perceive their role as “fixing and solving everything.” One participant shared a very powerful story around the difference between being a fixer and being someone that helps others find the answers, a conversation which ended up totally transforming the relationship with her CEO.

Finally, I was pleasantly surprised to see how positively the group reacted to some of the technology I use in coaching. For example, participants loved the idea that I am using word clouds to show the before and after picture of coaching conversations with clients. In my custom 360s client can observe transformation simply by watching how colors change over time. The Iphone App I use called TalkingtoStyles (see resource list below) has been a superb low cost tool that has helped budget-strapped executive clients create better awareness around styles with their teams (particularly popular with my high tech clients that already live on their smart phones). Finally, there was discussion around how much technology facilitates virtual coaching with tools such a phone bridges, Google+ Hangout, Skype and more for individuals, teams and groups. Almost 40 percent of my clients last year were on the East Coast (I am on the West Coast in Seattle) and I am expanding more globally in the next couple of years leveraging technology. Interestingly, even local clients that get a taste of virtual coaching often choose that route after a few sessions (often interspersing face-to-face with tele-based sessions).

Curious about Group Coaching? Listen to the interview Coachville did with me recently:
http://tinyurl.com/c48qrhp

Here are some quotes I liked:
As women we need to not let our moments of self-doubt define us! Is it about me or them?

• I AM NOT YELLING! How many decibels constitute yelling? You leaned forward. You pointed your finger. Did you see people leaving the room?
• No matter what happens, culture always wins. This goes for a bullying culture or an overly civil culture.
• Life is one darn’d thing after another

Resources
Effectiveness Institute Behavior Style Programs http://tinyurl.com/d5gqt7n On the iphone you type “Talking To Styles” to get the app (costs $1.99). You can also get it for Android phones. Just go to the Google Play store, and type “effectivenessinstitute”, with no spaces.
Maximimizing the Impact of Executive Coaching: http://tinyurl.com/6plqfn2DBM Trends In Executive Coaching http://tinyurl.com/brkyhoj